You may not have solicited it, but I’ve got more to share. Having spent my twenties and very early thirties as a single professional woman, I can relate to the angst and frustration our kind often feels on our journey to find long lasting love. Now, as a happily married mom of three, I can reflect on the trail that finally brought me here. Dating was fun and awkward all at once, but I never missed an opportunity to meet new people, nor should you. So, put yourself out there and consider these tidbits to live by…
1. Be social – unless you are on death’s door or have a major scheduling conflict, you should NEVER miss an opportunity to meet new people. So, go to that birthday party, show up at the BBQ and participate in the bowl-a-thon.
2. Don’t be afraid of set-ups or blind dates – You may have five nightmare blind-date stories, but all you need is ONE good one. A few of my friends got hitched from blind-dates. So, they do work … sometimes. Arrange for a blind coffee or something quick, so you don’t waste an evening with the chap if you immediately know it’s all wrong.
3. Recycling is OKAY – sometimes Mr. Right has always been there, it just wasn’t the right time. Don’t be ashamed of recycling your connections… so go back through your i-phone and email contacts (or even the paper address book) and remind yourself of all the lost connections that may still have a spark to re-ignite.
4. Work is NOT an excuse. There is always time. You can always find a way. I dated all four years of my residency … and that was before all the 80 hours/week work restrictions on residency training were enforced. You can always find a time to squeeze in a date.
5. Be proactive – if the dates aren’t coming the old fashioned way, then it may be time to … Go Online. Almost 1/3 of the OB/GYN residents where I trained met their beau’s online. Sometimes geography, career choice and job isolation can limit one’s abilities to meet new prospects, but nowadays there’s no excuse. Online dating is nothing to be ashamed of.
6. Get back out there … quickly. If things didn’t work out with the last one, just dust yourself off and get back out there. Don’t waste too much time. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Keep looking and you will find a catch.
Finding your soul-mate is like a full-time job. Don’t rush it. Don’t try to fix it. Don’t cram a square peg into a round hole. Marriage is hard enough as it is, everything leading up to it should be the easy part.
And remember. You are a rock star, and whoever you marry should be your biggest fan!!