If you’ve read my book, you are probably aware of the cringe-worthy predicaments the protagonist finds herself in with respect to her love life throughout her medical school training. While part of me wants to crawl into a hole at the thought of my father or 88-year-old great-uncle reading through the text, I felt it was a necessary component of the book. It was important to expose the reality that modern professional women face in the vast sea of single-life.
During my medical school training, I had an amazing group close friends – all single, all struggling with the same reality. They were (and are) talented, beautiful, hard-working and determined women. And we all dated the douche-bag. We all got screwed over in some way. We all let good of good ones. Believe it or not, we enjoyed our twenties and early thirties. Eventually, we all figured it out. I wouldn’t give that time back for anything in the world.
On a recent trip to visit my younger sister in Los Angeles, I went out with a group of her single friends. They reminded me much of my crew during my medical school years. We headed out to a party at a mansion in the Hollywood Hills and in the course of the night, three of her friends asked me the same question as they looked at my wedding band, “How did you do it?”
It’s really not that hard, the formula is easy. But, living it is the harder part.
Step #1 – Respect yourself. If you don’t have respect for yourself and your body, you will never get to step #2.
Step #2 – In order to have a lasting and successful relationship, you need four C’s: Chemistry, Commitment, Communication and Common values.
Step #3 – Timing … has to be right. If the timing is off, it won’t work. You both have to be ready at the same time.
Step #4 – Tolerance. You will get on each other’s nerves. You have to be willing to accept each other’s imperfections.
Step #5 – If you’re not happy, don’t be afraid to be alone.
So that’s it in a nutshell. Took me a long time to figure it out, but I did. Most of us do anyway.